Thursday, August 20, 2009

My Journey Continued.....

My Journey Continued........

I always have to thank everyone first before I get into the specifics. Thank you everyone again for all of your prayers, words of encouragement, scriptures sent and stopping by. Again the Lords timing is amazing and perfect.

As you all know last Wed. I got the news that I needed a mastectomy on my right side and after a lot of talking with Dr. Eve and Dr. Enevolsden and reading the reports "I" decided to do both sides. I spoke with Dr. Eve on Thursday before leaving for the houseboat for the weekend about my final decision and she wanted to meet again to talk about it further the following Thursday (today). Now I have to say I got off of the phone with her thinking " What more is there to talk about"? I then just asked the Lord to give Jeff and I wisdom and to make it very clear to us what I was suppose to do. As I get off the phone that Thursday I looked at Jeff and told him today was going to be one of those days I was talking about in my first letter. It was going to be rough. Needless to say I spent most of the day grieving over the decision that I had to make and was a sobbing mess. I haven't been away from the kiddos long enough to lose it and lets just say I left the kiddos and I lost it! I needed to just get out and have an emotional breakdown without anyone asking Are you OK? What can I do for you? I'm so sorry. What I got was a bunch of people talking and crying with me and a husband that layed next to me for hours praying over me out loud ( I love that part it was so special). I woke up the next morning feeling again refreshed and ready to continue on my journey with breast cancer and the Lord by my side. He gave me a great weekend of relaxation, time with my hubby and time with great friends. I came home on Sunday and back to reality I came (just like any vacation when it is over). All that ran through my head was Oh no Dr. Eve is going to talk me out of the other side! What will I do? Will I be asymmetrical for the rest of my life? What if cancer returns this time on the other side and I have to go back in? My mind was racing and I finally had to ask the Lord to take it because that was something I couldn't worry about for the next few days. It was up to the Lord to put things into place. Monday morning came and so many prayers were answered. Jeff was praying on his way to work that morning about our decision that we had to make and our meeting on Thursday with Dr. Eve. He prayed that the Lord would make it very clear to him and I and that we would know for sure that we were making the right decision. Jeff walked into his office and one of his clients (a doctor) was waiting to see him. Jeff said, "Dr. "so and so" (ha ha) our meeting isn't this Monday it is next week!" He said oh Jeff I'm sorry I got it wrong I will see you next week. Jeff said to him "wait a minute I have a question for you do you mind talking with me a minute"? Long story short Jeff asked his opinion about my bilateral mastectomy and he began to tell him a story about his first wife of 29 years who had breast cancer and it started in one side. They did a one sided mastectomy and wished that had done a bi-lat because a few years later it came back and she died! As I write this it gives me the chills just knowing and believing that MY GOD is in every detail EVERY DETAIL! I am so blessed to have Him and know Him the way I do.
As I walked into Dr. Eves office this morning I felt very peaceful about that appointment and just prayed that the words out of my mouth would be from Him. She walked in the door and sat down to talk to us and told me every reason why she thought I should wait to do the other side. She felt like doing the other side with a risk of infection and it could prolong my treatment if my nodes came back positive. Again long story short she shared her side and told me why not but that she would be willing to listen to me and compromise. I began to give her the reasons why I wanted a bilateral done and told her I was not making an emotional decision. I told her that I have prayed and prayed and the Lord has given me peace about it. I told her that I believed that the Lord WILL heal me from this and that I am not worried about the risk of infection because the risk is already there doing one. She said to me "OK done I will do it" WHEW!!!!!!! I walked out of that office again Praising Jesus. He continues to show me He is leading me and He is preparing the path right before I even show up! I love that I have a planner in my midst and it is the Lord God Almighty!!!!!
So what can you pray for???
I will be going into Doctors Hospital on Wed the 12Th to have die injected for the sentinel lymph node test that she will be doing during my surgery. She will also do an extensive node test at this time as well to take out 25 or more nodes. There can be side effects to these procedures so pray that they run smooth and she can find the nodes she needs to get.
Thursday is my surgery. Pray it goes well and for Jeff and my family as they will be waiting for about 5 hours. Dr. Eve will do her part first and then Dr. Enevoldsen will come in and do the reconstruction.(YEAH I think I already said YEAH but YEAH again) Thank God for reconstruction. There are also 2 different possibilities with the reconstruction. Pray that he can do the simple one. It would mean the process would be cut in 1/2 as far as construction time.

I know that many of you know me very well. Some of you just heard about me and my journey and are praying for my family and I. I want you all to know something that I am very passionate about especially through this time. I love love love going through trials because I get to glorify the Lord. I love going through trials because it brings me closer to my sweet Jesus. I love going through trials because it makes me appreciate the EVERY day I have here on earth to be with my family. I love going through trials because it makes me realize what my Jesus did for me on that cross and that is the reason why are here on this earth to bring people to Him.
If you don't know Jesus now is the time to get to know him because he loves you! You will go through trials here on earth. It will be what you make it with Him or without Him. I know I couldn't do it with out him that's for sure.
Thank you again all of you for all of your prayers and support. I will keep you posted after my surgery. I'm honored to be in this position.

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