Monday, August 24, 2009

My Testimony Through My Journey given at Big Valley Grace Community Church

My name is Heather Sutton and standing next to me is my sweet hubby Jeff. We have three little girls Madison 8, Halle 6 and London 4. On Thursday July 23rd Jeff and I sat in a doctor’s office and heard words no one wants to hear. “You have breast cancer”. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Jeff’s head drop into his chest. I sat across from the doctor trying to hold it together long enough to hear the words she is saying as tears are streaming down my face. I was trying desperately to understand the words she was using but all my ears heard were cancer, oncologist, and mastectomy. I looked at Jeff and told him it was going to be ok we will pull through this together. As the day went on The Lord gave me peace about everything. Now my job was to pray for Jeff and the girls that they would feel this peace too. Later that night we sat our girls down and told them that their mommy had breast cancer. I told them the words they might being hearing over time and what they mean. They cried and were scared of the word cancer because to them that meant death. There were a lot of tears that night and a sweet time of prayer and in the end we were all able to fall sound sleep.
The next morning I woke up refreshed, it was a new day a day the Lord has made for ME. I decided that if I was going to go through a “trial” it was going to become “my journey” and I would do it glorifying the Lord. I decided I didn’t want to waste it and I was going to be His witness.
Our next step was to have an MRI and a mammogram to see what we were dealing with. After my test I was to wait a week for results. I received a call the very next day telling me the Dr. wanted to see me sooner. I dropped to my knees and cried out to the Lord “whatever it is let us know so we can deal with it”. My husband panicked and tried to get us in that day but our doctor couldn’t see us, so the waiting began. Jeff looked discouraged. He was in tears and an absolute mess. I took him to our room and we got on our faces before the Lord in the most precious time of prayer. The Lord gives peace when asked for it and He did.
The next day we found out fortunately I had only one lump but unfortunately I have a lot of calcifications. The cancer is called infiltration or invasive ductile and means I have only one option, a bilateral mastectomy and reconstructive surgery. They will also take lymph nodes and have them tested as well. I met with two doctors that day and got what some people might call bad news. But I can stand in front of you today and tell you I was excited. I believe the Lord has a plan for me and his timing is perfect.
Rick came to me and quoted James 5:14 “Is any one of you sick? He should call the elders of the church to pray over him and anoint him with oil in the name of the Lord”. So on August 8th my family, friends, pastors and elders gathered in the Altar room and anointed Jeff and I with oil. The Lords presence was amazing that night. I have never felt so in awe of my God. People prayed over me the most beautiful, powerful and most important believing prayers. I sat with the most precious people in my life as they prayed and wept. I felt honored.
On Aug 13th we pulled in the Surgery Center at 6 am for my bilateral mastectomy. Our sweet friends Ben, Gretchen and Rick were waiting for us. Rick called us outside to pray. The power of prayer is amazing; you can never pray enough! I gave everyone hugs and went to change into the beautiful fashion gown they gave me. Right before I went into the O.R. satan thought he would try one last time to discourage me. I went into a massive panic attack. What I remember, as everything was closing in on me and they were wheeling me into O.R. was my sweet hubby praying out loud over me! The Lord overpowered satan that day. Prayer works. I had people praying for very specific things and I can stand here and tell you everything has a check mark! The Lord is in the details, every little detail.
On Thursday Aug 20th Jeff and I entered the doctor’s office once again for results. The Doctor began to tell me that I have infiltration or invasive ductile stage 1 and it is NOT in my lymph nodes. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Jeff’s head drop to his chest and tears of joy stream down his face. She began to tell us that I would see an oncologist at UCSF and that doctor would determine what treatment from here. All my ears heard were my great Physician healed me! That afternoon we were able to sit our girls down and tell them God had answered our prayers and he healed mommy of breast cancer.
It has been 10 days since I have been home and out of surgery and 5 weeks since I heard those awful words “you have breast cancer”. The physical pain has been great at times and still is, but the spiritual growth has been amazing. I can stand in front of you today KNOWING that prayer played HUGE part in my journey. Knowing Jesus intimately played a huge part in my journey.
Now listen to me carefully. I have a huge resource and that is the Lord and the power of prayer. I can tell you many details about my journey and tell you when and how the Lord answered them. Maybe not the way I wanted but realizing the importance of each one. If you or a loved one are facing cancer or are right in the middle of treatment, whatever it is, give it to Jesus. You have 2 options. The first is NOT giving it Him and doing it on your own and two is, give it to him and let him work out the details. I chose option two and I have felt His presence and peace throughout. Now the physical pain has been painful but nothing compared to the pain Jesus suffered for me on the cross. The spiritual growth far outweighs any pain I could ever go through and It is an honor to do this for HIM. Don’t waste your opportunity. Isn’t that what we are here for on this earth is to take up His cross for Him?

Thursday, August 20, 2009

My results of My Surgery

WOW WOW WOW All I can do right now is Praise Jesus and his Faithfulness!! His Love endures FOREVER....
Thank you all for your prayers, words of encouragement, scripture, gifts and everything else that has occurred in this last 5 weeks.
I HAVE BEEN WAITING ALONG TIME TO WRITE THIS EMAIL!!! Only because I knew with all of my heart that this is what I would be writing. But...... I am going to start from the beginning so you will have to wait for results til the end.

This week has been a very trying week. By me saying trying I have been in a lot "Physical Pain" this week as my surgery was 7 days ago today. For those of you just reading, last Thursday I had a bilateral Mastectomy and reconstructive Surgery on both breasts.
I was able to come home last Friday and have been well taken care of. I have had someone bring dinner every night for my family and I, my girls have been able to stay extremely busy and my sweet sweet hub has been taking very good care of me as well as the girls. I have continued to have an unbelievable peace that can only come from the Lord and have continued to pray for the physical pain as time has gone on. Now my sweet hub has continued to show me he is peaceful but still a little anxious as results were approaching.
Today at 11:30 Jeff picked me up to head to the Doctors office as we awaited my results. As we pulled into the parking lot I could tell Jeff wasn't doing well but was going to act as if he was. We parked the car and I grabbed his hand and just prayed! Prayed that the Lord would give peace no matter what the doctor was going to tell us. We walked o the waiting room and of the the room we went to meet with Dr. Eve. She came in and asked how my pain was and how I was feeling. I told her I was still in a lot of pain and she reassured me that it was normal as I have had THE most invasive surgery you could ever have on your breasts. She then told me " I will try and get rid of your pain by giving you the results of your pathology" As we are on the edge of our seats awaiting what she will say next. She began to tell us that there is one test that has not returned from the pathologist( it comes back tomorrow) but all of the other tests came back that my cancer is at stage 1 (meaning we caught it so early) and that it is NOT in my lymph nodes that all cancer was removed at the time of the surgery!! She kept speaking and again I heard NO CANCER blah blah blah. Out of the corner of my eye I see Jeff's head drop to his chest. I look over at him and he is balling like a baby! Which made me ball like a baby. The doctor then looked at an intern that was in the room and said "This has been a very emotional 5 weeks for all of us". AMEN! This test that we are waiting for is a "double make sure we are positive" kind of test. She began to tell us we will still need to go to UCSF and see an oncologist and that they would decide what treatment I will need from here. There is a test they will give me to determine the chance of it ever coming back and this will determine the treatment whether it is pills or chemo. Sh removed one drain and OUCH!!!! ( 2 more to go tomorrow).

After this appointment was over I couldn't wait to get to the car and Praise my Lord Jesus Christ with my ever so sweet hubby Jeff. We walked out of the door and Jeff bawled so hard and I can't quite hug yet and that was so hard. We got to the car and I grabbed Jeff's hand and just started praying. Thank you Lord Jesus for our faithfulness. Thank you that you have prepared our path ahead of us, Thank you that you never left our side. Lord Jesus thank you for your peace that surpasses all understanding, Thank you that you have chosen me for this! I went on and on. I couldn't stop, how could i stop praising His name after all He sweet Jesus has done for me! We had to run a couple errands after that and my poor hubby could not hold it together. i wanted to just walk up to complete strangers and say " Did you know that my Lord Jesus just healed me of breast cancer" but I guess that isn't something you just do but I wanted to so bad. We came home and my 3 sweet little kiddos were sitting here and we sat them down and this time told them "girls, Our God healed mommy of breast cancer" because of prayer He healed me! My girls had huge smiles on there faces and I tried as best I could to hug them as tight as I could. You could see the relief in their little hearts. What a Day a day the Lord made for ME AGAIN! Praise Jesus.
SOOOO What can you pray for now....
PRAISE JESUS for what he has done... Really worship Him and praise His holy name with me.
Pray the last test comes back fine ( I am certain it will but still pray he deserves it)
Pray for healing as I am still laid up in physical pain and my hubby is still taking care of a lot
Pray that my oncologist appointment on September 1st goes well and my treatment would be the least ( pills over chemo)
Pray my other 2 drains come out tomorrow!
Pray for me writing and giving my testimony this weekend. Pray the Lord will be able to touch people through my words and people would come to know Him through this!

Thank you so much for everything I can't tell you enough how grateful I am for each and everyone of you!
To my sweet hub thank you for loving me and taking care of me the way you have.
I love all of you

My Journey Continues at Home After Surgery

Thank you all for praying for me and believing in our Lord Jesus! As I sit here or wait a minute lay here and type this to you my heart and mind are going so much faster than my hands can type. I am in complete awe of my Lord right now! This process has been a bit painful physically but the spiritual side of it has been incredible and I wouldnt trade it for anything. Thank you all for praying for me, visiting me, cooking for my family and I and just being here for me and my family! It has been incredible. I kow Jeff has updated you a bit since my last post but I will give you my journey from my perspective...

Wednesday came very quickly and it was time to give my 3 kiddos to my mom as I had a couple appointments I had to get to before Thursday. That was a hard moment. I dont know about you but anytime I go into surgery you feel as if it will be the last time you see any of your loved ones. I guess it is because the whole situation is out of your control. As I said goodbye with one last kiss I got in my car and just cried. It was hard but I knew the Lord and my mom would take great care of them. 3:30 came quickly and it was time I had to go to nuclear medicine to have an injection in my right beast so that they can find my centinal lymph nodes in surgery. We show up at Doctors hospital in the nuc med department and there are danger signs all over the place. As I sat there I kept thinking to myself"should my healthy body be going into such a dangerous place"? Of course reality hit and I had to remind myself of this nasty disease called cancer is still sitting in my boobie and I am there so they can get it out. The guy called me in and told me there would be a woman doctor coming in to inject the spot with die that will move into my lymphnodes so the dr can remove them the next day. The doctor came in and introduced herself and asked about my cancer. I told her a little and she looked at me and said " I will pray for you" Within that time everything went through my head... such as, "who do you pray to", for all I know she could be praying to buddha? These are just thoughts that were going through my mind. So I began to share my journey with her. She was very interested as she injected FIRE into me.. To get my mind off of the pain I began to tell her that our church was dedicating the 22nd and 23rd to cancer patients and survivors that weekend. As she was almost done she said to me "You have to think positive and let the Almighty handle this". I still don't know if we were talking about the same Lord but I do know that God plants seeds and if this was one YEAH God! They took some pictures and off we went out the door to the next thing. Jeff and I went on a date wed. night and came home and fell asleep.
Alarm went off at 5 am and into the shower and off we went to the surgery center. As we pulled into the parking lot there was Ben and Gretch waiting for us so they could pray before we went in. SO So sweet. We all walked in to check in and on the couch in the waiting room sat Rick Countryman, He pulled us all outside where we prayed again. I tell ya you never can pray too much! I checked in and then the 5 of us sat and chatted and giggled and had a great time. Then off went my buzzer, so hugs to erveryone and into pre op I went. As I changed into my beautiful fashion gown and got all settled in the nurse came into do my iv. She began to tell me about her mom having breast cancer also. I have had some very interesting conversations with random people ( thank you Lord Jesus for putting them in my path or I in theirs). Jeff came back to sit with me until it was time to go. Dr. Enevoldsen came in to draw on me and then the anesthasiologist too. I again told him a thousand times how sick I get when I wake up.He gave me all the names of medications he was going to give me. WOW I have never had that happen before. He left and all of a sudden I began to have a panic attack. This is something I have never experienced in my life. I chalk it up to satan once again trying to get my eyes on him instead of the Lord. Dr. Eve came in at the same time and I just started crying. I was scared SO scared She reassured me and got my bed rolling as fast as she could to the O.R. As the bed was moving all I could hear was my sweet hub praying loud over me. They got me to o.r and before I even switched beds they had me out.
I woke up in recovery feeling pretty good just thirsty. They finally wheeled me upstairs into the hospital hotel room (it was really nice). They called Jeff up and he began to tell me all of the answered prayer that took place. Dr. Eve was able to get all of the centinal nodes plus 25 lymphnodes she wanted. Dr. enevoldsen was able to get the implants in fine because all of my skin stayed alive (YEAH) the other option would or could have taken months more. He told me about the lymphnodes that were taken out were black and at first they said they thought black nodes meant melanoma BUT they were black because of my tattoo! The list of answered prayer goes on and on and on praise to Jesus. I was so looped on drugs that Rick Countryman came to visit and right in the middle of talking I fell asleep! hahaha Now that I think about it all I do is laugh. That evening because of all the drugs they had going through my system and no solid foods I got very nauseated and started throwing up. I don't know about anyone else but I wish they invented something better to puke into when you are stuck in bed! Finally they gave me more medicine to stop the nausea and off to sleep I went. I woke up every 15 minutes all night wanting to be home in my own bed with my family. The next morning came and I started throwing up again. The physician assistant came in and offered to give me a shot in the behind to stop the nauseousness. At first I said no because I had had enough of the needles. But realized very quickly that I had to have it. She came in to give it to me and I couldnt roll over because I have 3 drains coming out all over the place so she decided to give it to me in my thigh! UUUGGGGHHHHHHHHH is what I yelled at the top of my lungs. It hurt so bad. Think of it as a tetnus shot times 100. But no more nausea. Both Dr.'s came into see me in the morning and told me I could go home.
I got home about??? wow I don't even know, too much medicine. The girls were delivered with my mom and dad that evening. It was so good to see them and be with them. My sweet hub along with my girls have taken very good care of me. Almost too good. I make my hub nervous when I am down so if you could imagine Jeff running and pacing back and forth it is a sight! It makes me giggle. But at the same time is stressful for him.
I am excited for the healing process. If you were to see me now with all these drains coming from everywhere you would be frightened. It is quite a sight. I had to give up my beautiful fashion gown at the hospital for a beautiful fashion sports bra! Worth the switcharoo.
This has been quite a journey so far and the Lord has prepared a path for me and continues to do so. The only thing He asks is that I stay on that path for Him. That I am more than willing to do. He has been with me from day one and never has left my side. I have seen Him be glorified more than you will ever know. Being His witness is amazing. Lord Jesus continue to use me, out of all people ME to glorify your name.
I was reading Psalms 119:73-74" Your hands made me and formed me; give me understanding to learn your commands. May those who fear you rejoice when they see me for I have put my hope in your word." This is my prayer for myself and for all of you. May we all put our hope in His word.
What can you continue to pray for-
- lets Praise Jesus for my surgery and all answered prayer
-pray that Jeff can handle me and the girls all at once ( his job description never read housewife)
-pray for quick recovery as I am no good in bed all the time it drives me bonkers
-pray for me as I prepare my testimony and give it next weekend (those that know me know I don't like to speak in front of people) and pray many would give their lives to Jesus and be touched by the whole service.
-continue to pray(believeing) for my lymphnodes that they come back with no cancer

Thank you again for everything. Your prayers, thoughts,gifts,calls, emails, facebooks, twitters ,poems, food and just showing up when the Lord called you to do so. It is amazing..
Thank you thank you thank you!!! I will keep you updated as the week goes by.
John 14:13 -14
If you ask for anything in my name, I will do it for you so that the Father's glory will be shown through the Son. If you ask me for anything in my name, I will do it.
I have been a witness to this and so have all of you. Prayer works! Never Never stop praying!
I will keep you updated on my progress
Thanks again

Jeffs blog post Surgery of My Journey

"And I will praise you in this storm, and I will lift my hands, for You are who You are, no matter where I am, and every tear I've cried you hold in your hand, you never left my side".

Casting Crowns

Dear friends and family,

I am writing from Heathers computer (man is her side of the desk a mess). I wanted to update everyone regarding her surgery today. To say the least, we couldnt have had better news. Scars were kept to a minimum, surgery option #1 (as we called ita nd prayed for) was a success and Heather is doing great.

I was looking at her prayer requests from yesterday and will go through them one at a time.

Pray for the injection for lymph nodes (yesterday) - Shot went very well, no lingering pain.

Pray for Jeff (me) re: anxiousness - I felt such incredible peace from the Lord last night and this morning that I actually felt a sense of guilt for not being more torn up.

Pray for Candy (Heathers mom) as she was struggling yesterday and was watching our three little monkeys during surgery - I talked to her today and she ecko'd the peace I felt.

Pray that she would come out of the anesthesia without getting sick (as she usually does) - Not a lick of sickness, nausiousness, queeziness, not a thing.

Pray for our three girls as they deal with the emotions of having their mommy in the hospital from cancer surgery - Well, they were in very good spirits when they came by to see Heather, got to doctor her up a bit, and were excited about the sleepover at Lori's.

Pray that the lymph nodes are clear - We will know Thursday the 20th. KEEP PRAYING !!

If that isnt answered prayer I dont know what is !!

I was talking to one of Dr. Enevoldsens office managers today and she said "I dont think he has ever had a case where he was able to do reconstructive surgery at the same time as the double masectomy". What that means is Heather wont have to go back in for three or four more procedures. That also is incredible answered prayer.

I keep asking myself "how do people get through these valleys without the Lord"? I am in awe of the Lord, how he can give peace, heal, answer prayers, and that He is NEVER freaked out with the situation. He is in total control and there is something very peacefull about that.

Thank you for all of you that stopped by. Whether you missed me coming and going, sat with me, prayed with me, texted me, e-mailed me, called me or prayed for us - thank you. I told Heather this morning "I dont ever want to hear the words "I dont feel loved by my friends and family" EVER come out of your mouth (or my mouth either).

We are blessed !!! Thank you again and we will keep you posted.


My Journey Begins....

My Journey begins….
Thank you all again for all of your thoughts, words, prayers, support and trusting in Jesus with me.I just wanted to write a note and let you know where I am as of the day before surgery. I will go today at 3:30 to have dye injected for my lymph node surgery tomorrow. Tonight I get to have a relaxing night with my sweet hubby. Thank you mom for making that possible!The alarm will go off at 5am tomorrow as I have to be at Stanislaus Surgery Center at 6am to check in. They did all of my labs and x-ray’s on Monday so hopefully I won’t get poked too much other than the IV( I hate needles). I will change into my beautiful fashion gown and off to the surgery room I go. Dr. Eve will start the surgery and her part will last about 2 ½ hours and then Dr. Enevoldsen will come in to do his part (YEAH Dr. Enevoldsen) 2 1/2 hours also. Dr. Eve will come and talk to Jeff as soon as her part is complete and the same with Dr. Enevoldsen. I will then go to recovery for a couple of hours and then check into my hotel (hospital)upstairs for the night! Today was a very hard day saying goodbye to the girls for a couple of days but know the Lord will take care of them with the help of my mom. I have complete peace that the Lord will take great care of me through all of this. It is his promise and I believe him. I know I am in great hands of the Mighty physician! So what can you pray for specifically?·
  • Pray for the injection this afternoon as I hate needles·
  • Pray for my sweet hub as he waits and waits for the doctors to come out as well as my family·
  • Pray for my mom as she takes care of our little monkeys and she is having a hard day!·
  • Pray that I come out of anesthetic without throwing up! This is a big one!!!! ·
  • Pray for my 3 sweet babies as they are dealing with emotions internally they don’t even know they have!
  • Pray for peace for them for the next 2 days as they are away from me.·
  • Pray that my lymph nodes are clear and the Dr.’s are in awe!·
  • Pray that I minister to the people I come in contact with today and tomorrow for I do not want to waste an ounce of opportunity!!!! This is the biggest one!
Thank you everyone for your prayers and for following me on this journey. The great physician is in control and I give myself to HIM. I love you all and as soon as I can post again I will! Jeff will send an update as far as me being out and recovering!
Blessings to all of you

My Journey Continued.....

My Journey Continued........

I always have to thank everyone first before I get into the specifics. Thank you everyone again for all of your prayers, words of encouragement, scriptures sent and stopping by. Again the Lords timing is amazing and perfect.

As you all know last Wed. I got the news that I needed a mastectomy on my right side and after a lot of talking with Dr. Eve and Dr. Enevolsden and reading the reports "I" decided to do both sides. I spoke with Dr. Eve on Thursday before leaving for the houseboat for the weekend about my final decision and she wanted to meet again to talk about it further the following Thursday (today). Now I have to say I got off of the phone with her thinking " What more is there to talk about"? I then just asked the Lord to give Jeff and I wisdom and to make it very clear to us what I was suppose to do. As I get off the phone that Thursday I looked at Jeff and told him today was going to be one of those days I was talking about in my first letter. It was going to be rough. Needless to say I spent most of the day grieving over the decision that I had to make and was a sobbing mess. I haven't been away from the kiddos long enough to lose it and lets just say I left the kiddos and I lost it! I needed to just get out and have an emotional breakdown without anyone asking Are you OK? What can I do for you? I'm so sorry. What I got was a bunch of people talking and crying with me and a husband that layed next to me for hours praying over me out loud ( I love that part it was so special). I woke up the next morning feeling again refreshed and ready to continue on my journey with breast cancer and the Lord by my side. He gave me a great weekend of relaxation, time with my hubby and time with great friends. I came home on Sunday and back to reality I came (just like any vacation when it is over). All that ran through my head was Oh no Dr. Eve is going to talk me out of the other side! What will I do? Will I be asymmetrical for the rest of my life? What if cancer returns this time on the other side and I have to go back in? My mind was racing and I finally had to ask the Lord to take it because that was something I couldn't worry about for the next few days. It was up to the Lord to put things into place. Monday morning came and so many prayers were answered. Jeff was praying on his way to work that morning about our decision that we had to make and our meeting on Thursday with Dr. Eve. He prayed that the Lord would make it very clear to him and I and that we would know for sure that we were making the right decision. Jeff walked into his office and one of his clients (a doctor) was waiting to see him. Jeff said, "Dr. "so and so" (ha ha) our meeting isn't this Monday it is next week!" He said oh Jeff I'm sorry I got it wrong I will see you next week. Jeff said to him "wait a minute I have a question for you do you mind talking with me a minute"? Long story short Jeff asked his opinion about my bilateral mastectomy and he began to tell him a story about his first wife of 29 years who had breast cancer and it started in one side. They did a one sided mastectomy and wished that had done a bi-lat because a few years later it came back and she died! As I write this it gives me the chills just knowing and believing that MY GOD is in every detail EVERY DETAIL! I am so blessed to have Him and know Him the way I do.
As I walked into Dr. Eves office this morning I felt very peaceful about that appointment and just prayed that the words out of my mouth would be from Him. She walked in the door and sat down to talk to us and told me every reason why she thought I should wait to do the other side. She felt like doing the other side with a risk of infection and it could prolong my treatment if my nodes came back positive. Again long story short she shared her side and told me why not but that she would be willing to listen to me and compromise. I began to give her the reasons why I wanted a bilateral done and told her I was not making an emotional decision. I told her that I have prayed and prayed and the Lord has given me peace about it. I told her that I believed that the Lord WILL heal me from this and that I am not worried about the risk of infection because the risk is already there doing one. She said to me "OK done I will do it" WHEW!!!!!!! I walked out of that office again Praising Jesus. He continues to show me He is leading me and He is preparing the path right before I even show up! I love that I have a planner in my midst and it is the Lord God Almighty!!!!!
So what can you pray for???
I will be going into Doctors Hospital on Wed the 12Th to have die injected for the sentinel lymph node test that she will be doing during my surgery. She will also do an extensive node test at this time as well to take out 25 or more nodes. There can be side effects to these procedures so pray that they run smooth and she can find the nodes she needs to get.
Thursday is my surgery. Pray it goes well and for Jeff and my family as they will be waiting for about 5 hours. Dr. Eve will do her part first and then Dr. Enevoldsen will come in and do the reconstruction.(YEAH I think I already said YEAH but YEAH again) Thank God for reconstruction. There are also 2 different possibilities with the reconstruction. Pray that he can do the simple one. It would mean the process would be cut in 1/2 as far as construction time.

I know that many of you know me very well. Some of you just heard about me and my journey and are praying for my family and I. I want you all to know something that I am very passionate about especially through this time. I love love love going through trials because I get to glorify the Lord. I love going through trials because it brings me closer to my sweet Jesus. I love going through trials because it makes me appreciate the EVERY day I have here on earth to be with my family. I love going through trials because it makes me realize what my Jesus did for me on that cross and that is the reason why are here on this earth to bring people to Him.
If you don't know Jesus now is the time to get to know him because he loves you! You will go through trials here on earth. It will be what you make it with Him or without Him. I know I couldn't do it with out him that's for sure.
Thank you again all of you for all of your prayers and support. I will keep you posted after my surgery. I'm honored to be in this position.

Along my Journey the Surgery Step

I just wanted to drop you a note first to thank you all again for the encouraging words, scriptures and prayers. I have felt the Lords presence in a way that is amazing! I have watched him work in my life and my families in a way we have never experienced. I have also been able to witness My Lord Jesus work in the hearts of people I know and don't know in a special way. That alone is worth everything!

The Lord hears good people when they cry out to him, and he saves them from all their troubles. The Lord is close to the brokenhearted, and he saves those whose spirits have been crushed Psalm 34:17 - 18

During this Journey the Lord continues to tell me and give me peace that he is in control of everything up to the very last detail. I received a call on Thursday from my surgeon who wants to sit down again with Jeff and I and talk about all that is involved with this kind of surgery. She wants me to be thinking about my decision and go over it again. In my human flesh I don't think there is anything to talk about but I am again reminded that the Lord is in control! This I will be doing Thursday and if you all could be praying for wisdom for Jeff and I. I will then meet with Dr. Enevoldsen ( plastic surgeon) again right after to go over surgery details. My surgery has been scheduled for Thursday August 13Th at 7:30 am. I will be staying one night in the hospital just to make sure I am OK to come home. One week later I will get my results back from the lymph node test.

I am praising the Lord already for what he is doing and going to do in my life, my husbands life, my kiddos lives and the lives of those around me that I know well or don't know at all.
He continues to show me how faithful he is even when I am in a valley and overwhelmed with the amount of things I need to think of.

If you ask for anything in my name, I will do it for you so that the Father's glory will be shown through the Son. If you ask for anything in my name, I will do it. John 14: 13 -14

I believe this with all of my heart and want you all to believe with me.

Thank you for all of your prayers

Along my Journey the Next Step

First of all thank you so much for all of your prayers and words of encouragement and scripture. Each one came at perfect timing.
I am the Lord, the God of EVERY person on the earth. Nothing is impossible for me.
Jeremiah 32:27
As you all know I was diagnosed with breast cancer last Thursday July 23rd. I posted Along my journey on July 28th. I had received a call on the 28th that I would be going in to have an MRI and a mammogram on Monday July 27th (which went fantastic Praise Jesus no pain) and we would meet with Dr. Eve Monday Aug.3rd with results. Yesterday the 28th I get a phone call from Dr. Eve telling me she wants to see me tomorrow the 29th. Now I have to be honest I immediately thought Oh my goodness it must be really bad! I had to really take my thoughts captive. At that point a text came in from a dear friend who told me that her doctor had called her in early because she had great news. Again I was reassured! I scheduled my appointment for 10:30 am. I then get news that Dr. Eve had talked with Dr. Enevoldsen and he wanted to see me right after. Now my mind is really racing and my husband is in tears. I went to my knees and cried out to the Lord “Please Lord whatever this is let us know so we can deal with it” If it is bad prepare us for it! My sweet hub began to panic a bit and called Dr. Eves office to get in that day but again the door was closed. Jeff looked discouraged, in tears and an absolute mess. I then took him to our room and we both got on our faces before the Lord in the most precious time of prayer (I love those moments).
This morning as I get up to get ready for my day and all the thoughts racing in and out of my mind I found myself pacing not getting a thing done. Jeff went to kiss me goodbye as he went to work and I just lost it. I told him “I’m scared I am so scared” he held me until I calmed down and left for work. 10 minutes later the phone rings and its Dr. Eves office. “Hi Heather there was a mix up in the times we can’t see you until 4:00”. As I got off the phone my stomach felt like I just got socked. I tried to call Jeff but couldn’t get a hold of him he was in a meeting. Right at this moment my dear friend and Pastor Rick Countryman is knocking at my door. As I answered it he walked in and said to me “I just came to pray with you” Thank you Lord Jesus!! You put people in front of me at the right times. My day goes on and people are texting me, emailing me and praying for me and I truly felt the presence of the Lord all day.
4:00 comes and we are now sitting in the waiting room waiting to be seen. Waiting and waiting and waiting. Finally we get called back. Jeff looks at me and says “I feel like I am going to throw up” and began to pray as I am changing into a beautiful fashion gown. Dr. Eve comes in and greets us and begins to put all of the mammogram films onto the little white light thing(that’s my new name for it because I don’t know what its called). She begins to show me a bunch of white dots all over the breast called calcifications. These are what turn into lumps like the one I found. Fortunately I had only one lump, unfortunately I have a lot of calcifications so I have one option. I will have to have surgery again and have a mastectomy(thank God for reconstructive surgery and Dr. Enevoldsen). At that same surgery they will take lymph nodes to see if the cancer has spread anywhere else in my body. We talked to her in great detail about a number of things and off to Dr. Enevoldsen’s office we went to discuss the reconstructive side of things. On our way over I picked up the mammogram result of my other breast to read that they found a few calcifications but probably benign. The word probably made me a little nervous but Dr. Eve had said I would now be checked every 6 months. We sit down with Dr. Enevoldsen and after a lot of talking and discussing many options I have decided that I want to have a bilateral mastectomy and get rid of both breasts. With the calcifications even slight in the other I would rather deal with it now than 10 years from now. This surgery will take place either the week of the 10th or the week of the 17th.
As I sit and write this I can honestly tell you that I am excited! I am ready to take this on and get it done. I believe the Lord has a perfect plan for me in His perfect timing! This is one step closer to the end of this journey and I will only concentrate on one step at a time because that is what the Lord has given me to deal with so far. The next step being the lymph nodes and that they will know 1 week after surgery.
Psalm 23 says: The Lord is my shepherd I shall not be in want. He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, HE restores my soul. He guides me in paths of righteousness for HIS names sake. Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.
After hours of medical talk it was time to spend some needed time with my kiddos with a night swim (and yes I got my hair wet) As I am walking to the pool my little London (4 yrs old) is singing to me “Trust in the Lord and lean not on your own understanding Trust in the Lord” and then stops and says your boobie is going to be alright right mommy? I love childlike faith and right now I am Gods child and have more faith in him that I ever have had and feel honored to be his chosen one to glorify His name. Praise you Lord Jesus! I am standing in awe of HIM.
I love all of you and am more grateful than you know for all of you who have taken the time to come along on this journey with me and have prayed for me and my family! I am blessed to have each of you.

The frist note on my Journey

I am overwhelmed right now with the amount of prayers thoughts love etc. I am so blessed to have such a huge support group around me. Thank you to all of you.
I feel very lead to share some things with you and anyone who wants to hear me ramble (Lord knows it could go on and on) but… here it goes
When I was in Hawaii I had found a lump in my breast when I was in the shower, so I had shared this information with Jeff and he said you better get it checked when you get home. My words to him were “ok I will”! Those who know me well, know I am very forgetful. As the rest of our vacation went on, the last night I was making dinner and the knife slipped and cut my finger through a nerve and almost to the bone. Now I am not good with blood and no one was there with me except for my dear Kaila. The first words out of my mouth were “OH NO I think I cut my finger off.” As overwhelmed as she was she panicked around and said “What can I do”? I said hand me a towel, I am going to the front desk. Call Jeff (who was at the bbq’s already) and tell him to meet me there. Long story short I received 9 stitches in my finger that night. The Dr. told me in 2 weeks go to my doctor and get them out.
When we returned back to Modesto I called my doctor to make an appointment for my stitches to be taken out. They began to tell me they didn’t need to be in that long and to come in 5 days early. Now I am a huge rule follower and the Dr. in Maui said 14 days, I was a little nervous if the stitches came out too early my finger would fall apart open again.
So per my Dr. I went in 5 days early to get them out. While the nurse was checking me in I told the her that while in Hawaii I found a lump and wanted Dr. Boozer to look at it. She looked at me like I was crazy and said “I don’t know if he will see you because your visit was with the PA to have stitches removed and he is very busy”. I said “ok no biggie I can make another appointment.” 5 minutes later Dr. Boozer walked in the door and said I would like to look at the lump you are talking about. As he felt around he said he wasn’t too concerned about it because it wasn’t hard like a tumor BUT wasn’t soft like a cyst. But he said “just to play it safe I am going to send you to a surgeon who will look at it and do a needle biopsy just to be sure. So I left there confident in my doctors words and loved how thorough he was and thoughtful to come in to check me out. They made the appointment right there ASAP per Dr. Boozers request.
Jeff and I show up at the appointment with the surgeon Dr. Eve that day and I remember feeling very peaceful about the whole thing. Just a routine thing to do when you find something abnormal in your body. She felt around and told me that because I have implants this was easy to find because they push everything forward ( YEAH for fake boobies) She did a sonogram on it and had found 2 lumps. I don’t know much about sonograms but what she said was the radio waves are actually going through the lump which is fantastic news. She told me I had 2 options. One being a needle biopsy and 2 surgery to remove the lump. Number one sounded really good to me but she had told me that because I have implants the chance of the implants breaking was high because she would have to go deep enough to get a good sample. So with her encouragement and Jeff’s we decided that I go in and have it removed (Thank the Lord). This is where my journey begins…..
Of course someone telling you that you have to have surgery is not what you want to hear. With that said my mind went from, everything is going to be ok to oh my what if I die in surgery? I’m sure everyone that has had surgery has experienced the waves of emotion about being put under. I just kept telling the Lord that he is in control and whatever happens is in his plan.
Last Wed. 5 am came and off to the hospital we went. They checked me in and gave me a beautiful fashion gown to put on and told me they were going to put an IV in and start me on fluids. I had a great conversation with the nurse about our children and where we went to school and church. She poked me once…. Then twice… Then she said “oh no” I didn’t get it. UGH I hate needles too! Finally they get me all settled in and Jeff came in to be with me until they took me to the surgery room.
The 2 nurses come to get me and Jeff walks me to the door of the ice cold room and gives me a kiss. The Dr. tells Jeff it will only be 30 minutes so I will find you when I am done. The anesthesiologist comes in to talk to me and asks if I have any allergies or side effects to medicine. I must have told her 5 times in a row that I throw up A LOT! She laughed and said I will give you plenty of anti nausea meds to help. They wheel me in and the nurses begin to tell me that the State is there doing there inspections of the hospital to make sure everything they are doing is up to code! In my mind I am jumping for joy because that means everything is really clean and really serious!!! They put me up on a table that I never thought my rear end would fit on and off in lala land I went.
In the mean time Dr. Eve came out and told Jeff everything went well. That the tumor looked smooth and round and there wasn’t anything to worry about but we would wait for the results to come back next week.
I woke up feeling really good (never in my life has happened) and ready to go home. By 9:45 I was in my bed resting well. My recovering went well; the only thing I experienced was soreness.
My appointment for results was the next week on Thursday. I had told Jeff that based on what the doctor said after my surgery I don’t think it is really important for him to go. He said ok call me when you get home.
Wednesday night Jeff was really uneasy and said I am going to cancel some things at the office and go with you to your appointment. I said ok but really it’s no big deal.
Yesterday Jeff and I showed up to see Dr. Eve for my follow up appointment. She walked in and asked how I was feeling and I told her great except I am still really sore. She took all of my bandages off and the scar looked fantastic (she was very proud of it as well). She sat down on the stool and said words no one wants to hear. “ I have really bad news your lump came back and you have breast cancer”. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Jeff’s head drop into his chest and at the same time I am trying to hold it together long enough to hear the words she is saying as tears are streaming down my face. She began to tell me that when the tumor came out it looked as though it was a benign fibroid blah blah blah (that’s what I heard hahah) but the results came back cancer. She said she went over and over the reports making sure that they were mine and they were. She said that I would definitely need more surgery but the first step would be a mammogram and an MRI of the breast. After the results come back I would meet with her and we would get an oncologist appointment. She gave me whole lot of information I am not so sure I heard. My hears heard breast cancer, oncologist, MRI, mammogram, lumpectomy ,mastectomy, Dr. Enevoldsen (to which my ears perked up) if she needed him and blah blah blah blah. What I did hear her say is “one thing you have to remember since you found it early the survival rate is high” and that she now wants to go have a bowl of ice cream! hahaha all women think alike. She also told me that today we would be in shock! Wow was she right that was an understatement.
Jeff and I walked out of the office extremely quiet and I turned to Jeff and said “ I will not miss the houseboat so they better make the appointments for before or after” hahaha. We got in the car and off to drop Jeff at the office. As I pulled up to drop him off his eyes welted in tears looking at me. I began to tell him that everything will be ok and we will pull through this together. He told me he knows but it is still hard to hear. As the day went on it started sinking in as to what I heard that morning. I began to think about the chain of events that led to this and began praising the Lord first my stitches that led me to the doctor, then Dr. Boozer making it a priority, Dr. Eve wanting to get it out, Jeff cancelling his day to come with me and on and on and on. I found myself feel a peace over me that I hadn’t experienced in a long time. Now don’t get me wrong I was still crying! The amount of emails, calls, facebooks, twitters with people praying and expressing how much I mean to them made me ball like a baby and at times feel uncomfortable (gushiness makes me nervous but also feels good at the same time). Through the rest of the day I felt peace with the whole thing. Now my job was to pray and ask the Lord to show Jeff and the girls that peace too. We had company that night which took the focus off of me (thank the Lord) and onto other things.
When our friends left Jeff and I decided that we sit our kiddos down and let them know what was happening. We made the decision to be very honest and straight forward with them as we knew they were going to hear certain terms and words over time (such a faith builder). We sat them down and told them that mommy had cancer in her boobie and that I would have to have more surgery. We used the example of my melanoma and that made them understand a little easier. Madison started to cry and said that word scared her. Halle started to cry and said what if your surgery doesn’t get it all and you die? London just looked confused and really didn’t know what to say or do so she went off of the older girls. After lots of talking and questions and praying they were very peaceful and fell asleep. After that Jeff and I were able to sit down and talk about the whole situation which was a very nice evening ending in emotional exhaustion we both fell asleep.
Today is a new day! A day that the Lord has made for ME. A day of peace, understanding and excitement. All of those things because, I have the Lord on my side. I woke up so refreshed and excited about this new adventure I am about to encounter. This thing called a trial isn’t about ME! It is about the trust and obedience I have in the Lord. It is about glorifying him in all I say and do.
I decided this morning with the Lords help that this “trial” is not a secret; it is not on the down low. It is out there and talked about because I am and will be a witness for him. I am going to encounter many people, physicians etc. and if that is my chance to glorify Him then I will.
My point in writing this to you and giving you all the details is because I want all of you to go on this adventure with me. Not being afraid of what might happen but being excited about what will come about in the long run. I want all of you involved with me, inspired with what the Lord is doing and willing to go out of your comfort zones. This may sound so weird to some of you but I love trials, I love facing things that 100 percent I have to rely on the Lord because HE is the only one that will get me through. My relationship with him grows so much in these times and if there is anything I want more it is that your relationship with him grows too whether you have known him for years or you don’t know him at all (if that’s the case we need to talk). Now please don’t get me wrong I am human there will be times I am scared or times I will cry but it is not because I don’t trust my God! I am strong because the Lord has made me this way and I am a fighter because the Lord has made me this way! ALL things happen for a reason and a purpose. I don’t know what that is yet but won’t it be fun at the end to find out? Come with me and we will do this together.
I love you all so much and am blessed to have such a great support system around me. I will keep you posted on the details of everything feelings up or down. So buckle your seatbelt because this is going to be a great adventure
Love to you all