Thursday, August 20, 2009

Along my Journey the Next Step

First of all thank you so much for all of your prayers and words of encouragement and scripture. Each one came at perfect timing.
I am the Lord, the God of EVERY person on the earth. Nothing is impossible for me.
Jeremiah 32:27
As you all know I was diagnosed with breast cancer last Thursday July 23rd. I posted Along my journey on July 28th. I had received a call on the 28th that I would be going in to have an MRI and a mammogram on Monday July 27th (which went fantastic Praise Jesus no pain) and we would meet with Dr. Eve Monday Aug.3rd with results. Yesterday the 28th I get a phone call from Dr. Eve telling me she wants to see me tomorrow the 29th. Now I have to be honest I immediately thought Oh my goodness it must be really bad! I had to really take my thoughts captive. At that point a text came in from a dear friend who told me that her doctor had called her in early because she had great news. Again I was reassured! I scheduled my appointment for 10:30 am. I then get news that Dr. Eve had talked with Dr. Enevoldsen and he wanted to see me right after. Now my mind is really racing and my husband is in tears. I went to my knees and cried out to the Lord “Please Lord whatever this is let us know so we can deal with it” If it is bad prepare us for it! My sweet hub began to panic a bit and called Dr. Eves office to get in that day but again the door was closed. Jeff looked discouraged, in tears and an absolute mess. I then took him to our room and we both got on our faces before the Lord in the most precious time of prayer (I love those moments).
This morning as I get up to get ready for my day and all the thoughts racing in and out of my mind I found myself pacing not getting a thing done. Jeff went to kiss me goodbye as he went to work and I just lost it. I told him “I’m scared I am so scared” he held me until I calmed down and left for work. 10 minutes later the phone rings and its Dr. Eves office. “Hi Heather there was a mix up in the times we can’t see you until 4:00”. As I got off the phone my stomach felt like I just got socked. I tried to call Jeff but couldn’t get a hold of him he was in a meeting. Right at this moment my dear friend and Pastor Rick Countryman is knocking at my door. As I answered it he walked in and said to me “I just came to pray with you” Thank you Lord Jesus!! You put people in front of me at the right times. My day goes on and people are texting me, emailing me and praying for me and I truly felt the presence of the Lord all day.
4:00 comes and we are now sitting in the waiting room waiting to be seen. Waiting and waiting and waiting. Finally we get called back. Jeff looks at me and says “I feel like I am going to throw up” and began to pray as I am changing into a beautiful fashion gown. Dr. Eve comes in and greets us and begins to put all of the mammogram films onto the little white light thing(that’s my new name for it because I don’t know what its called). She begins to show me a bunch of white dots all over the breast called calcifications. These are what turn into lumps like the one I found. Fortunately I had only one lump, unfortunately I have a lot of calcifications so I have one option. I will have to have surgery again and have a mastectomy(thank God for reconstructive surgery and Dr. Enevoldsen). At that same surgery they will take lymph nodes to see if the cancer has spread anywhere else in my body. We talked to her in great detail about a number of things and off to Dr. Enevoldsen’s office we went to discuss the reconstructive side of things. On our way over I picked up the mammogram result of my other breast to read that they found a few calcifications but probably benign. The word probably made me a little nervous but Dr. Eve had said I would now be checked every 6 months. We sit down with Dr. Enevoldsen and after a lot of talking and discussing many options I have decided that I want to have a bilateral mastectomy and get rid of both breasts. With the calcifications even slight in the other I would rather deal with it now than 10 years from now. This surgery will take place either the week of the 10th or the week of the 17th.
As I sit and write this I can honestly tell you that I am excited! I am ready to take this on and get it done. I believe the Lord has a perfect plan for me in His perfect timing! This is one step closer to the end of this journey and I will only concentrate on one step at a time because that is what the Lord has given me to deal with so far. The next step being the lymph nodes and that they will know 1 week after surgery.
Psalm 23 says: The Lord is my shepherd I shall not be in want. He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, HE restores my soul. He guides me in paths of righteousness for HIS names sake. Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.
After hours of medical talk it was time to spend some needed time with my kiddos with a night swim (and yes I got my hair wet) As I am walking to the pool my little London (4 yrs old) is singing to me “Trust in the Lord and lean not on your own understanding Trust in the Lord” and then stops and says your boobie is going to be alright right mommy? I love childlike faith and right now I am Gods child and have more faith in him that I ever have had and feel honored to be his chosen one to glorify His name. Praise you Lord Jesus! I am standing in awe of HIM.
I love all of you and am more grateful than you know for all of you who have taken the time to come along on this journey with me and have prayed for me and my family! I am blessed to have each of you.

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